Let’s face it, relationships are complicated. But according to a recent survey from Talker Research, one thing is for sure — everyone has a line they won’t let their partner cross. And boy, those lines are drawn in very different places.
What’s Harmless? What’s a Dealbreaker?
The survey explored what Americans consider “cheating” when things get serious — and spoiler alert: it’s a lot more nuanced than just “sleeping with someone else.” As expected, “chatting with an ex” (60%) and “harmless flirting” (51%) make a lot of people clutch their pearls. Even more shocking? Watching porn (23%) can apparently be a dealbreaker for some. But hold on to your jockstraps, because here’s where things get interesting: reading erotica (79%), masturbating (76%), and even using sex toys (76%) are all completely fair game. We’ve come a long way, folks.
In fact, when asked about actions that can spark a relationship firestorm, 37% of respondents would absolutely call out their partner if they were caught hiding a phone password or, heaven forbid, still holding onto pictures with an ex (49%).
So What is Cheating?
But what’s actually considered cheating by the majority? According to the survey, things like dancing with someone else (66%) or allowing someone to buy them a drink (31%) don’t seem to spark the same level of outrage as, say, sexting with an ex or forgetting to wipe the evidence of your past rendezvous. Phew.
However, the boundaries seem to shift in ways that reveal an interesting truth: many of us—especially in the LGBTQ+ community—have a complex relationship with what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to romance and intimacy. For example, while a third of Americans are cool with their partner being friends with an ex (30%), the rest of us might find ourselves inching toward that “private investigator” role if things start to look fishy.
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Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer at LELO, puts it perfectly:
“Intimacy is a personal journey, and each individual has their own boundaries.”
It’s like navigating the endless loop of dating apps or finding your next weekend trip; everyone has different limits, and that’s okay.
But what’s truly fascinating is how this relates to the queer community’s ever-evolving views on monogamy, polyamory, and what it means to truly connect. In a world where exclusivity isn’t always the gold standard, some LGBTQ+ individuals might find themselves more comfortable exploring different forms of connection, be it with multiple partners or by having candid conversations about desire and intimacy. This openness is echoed by Matutinovic, who suggests that having honest conversations about desires and limits can unlock a new level of trust and intimacy.
Sure, navigating the space between what feels right and what’s considered taboo can be tricky, but it’s also an opportunity for partners to communicate better — whether they’re experimenting with new kinks or deciding whether “harmless flirting” really does matter. However, don’t get too excited: 53% of respondents admit they’ve kept secrets from their partners because they were too afraid to upset them.
So, next time you’re scrolling through your partner’s phone or caught in an intense dance-off at a party, just remember: there’s no universal playbook for cheating. It’s all about mutual respect and understanding each other’s boundaries.
And if in doubt, maybe just keep the erotica reading to yourself… but feel free to keep those dance moves coming.
Source: Talker Research