Alright, gather around, friends—because Paul Mescal has officially derailed our entire sense of self-control. The star of All of Us Strangers and proud owner of those thighs was spotted over the weekend strutting around with his quads practically on display, and Gay Twitter™ has collectively short-circuited in response. If you didn’t know we were capable of being this feral, well… let this be a public service announcement.
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The Shorts! The Thighs! The Unbridled Chaos!
Let’s break it down, shall we? Mescal—always that guy in short shorts—was spotted rocking a look so effortlessly sexy, we might need to call it a public health hazard. His shorts, courtesy of O’Neill’s (yes, an Irish Gaelic soccer brand, get into it), put us all in a headlock and don’t plan to let go anytime soon. His quads? Practically begging for our attention. At this point, we’re convinced his thighs have their own fan club. We’ll happily join. Maybe even run it.
And in case you were wondering—yes, we’re getting a bit thirsty, but this is art. A visual masterpiece. This casual look, as GQ notes, involves a $70 hoodie from Clairo (unfortunately sold out, we guess we’ll be left to mourn) and those iconic, yet painfully unattainable, athletic shorts. It’s a subtle flex. A quiet display of “I’m effortlessly stylish, but I know you’re losing it over my legs.”
Also, can we talk about those wired headphones? Honestly, this man gets it. AirPods are nice, but they scream “I’m busy.” Wired headphones? They scream “chill” and “hold my calls”—two things we can all get behind. You know, because no one has time to answer calls when you’re out here looking that good.
A Thirst-Fueled Recap: This Isn’t His First Rodeo
If you’re wondering why this feels so familiar, it’s because Mescal has been getting us all worked up since May 2020. That’s when his legs entered the gay consciousness like a lightning bolt—and we’ve never really recovered. Earlier this month, he went pantless for a Gucci campaign (yes, pantless) and rocked the hell out of some white socks and brown loafers. We see you, Paul. We see you.
Now, don’t even get us started on the party in Madrid, where Mescal was spotted with All of Us Strangers co-star Andrew Ryan. Picture it: sweaty gay bar, short shorts, Mescal and Ryan, all living their best lives. You might be asking, “Why Madrid?” And we’ll respond with, “Why not?” Because, let’s be real, we’re just here for the thighs and the good vibes.
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Paul Mescal’s Subtle Hotness
So let’s talk about this: Mescal’s aesthetic is all about “trying hard without trying hard.” That means t-shirts, hoodies, and athleisure—and it works. Honestly, the way he can throw on a hoodie and still make us lose all sense of rationality? He’s like the walking embodiment of effortless hotness. And let’s not forget those loafers from his GQ shoot. They cost $920. Yes, you read that right. But who cares? When you look like that, we’ll happily pay for the privilege of basking in your style.
Conclusion: We Are All Thighs, Thirst, and Dreams
The bottom line is, Paul Mescal is a treasure. He’s the classic hot guy we all needed in our lives, and we’re absolutely here for this ongoing thirst fest. No one is complaining. His legs? Legendary. His style? Iconic. His effortless charm? Unmatched. So here’s to Mescal: The man, the myth, the legend whose thighs make us all feel a little too much.
Will we survive this level of thirst? Probably not. But honestly, do we want to? Definitely not. Keep doing what you’re doing, Paul. We’ll be here, casually losing our minds one thigh at a time.