Skip The Coffee And Do This For Your Daily Burst Of Energy

Do you pay attention to your back there area?  People buzz it, wash it, douche it, wax it, plug it, and bleach it. But have you ever thought about tanning your butthole?

Yes, sometimes you’re watching porn and you can see which “actors” wore the boxerbriefs, briefs, and even the thongs.  Some you can tell wore nothing while tanning but still have that slight tan line from the cheeks being closed while in the sun.  If they don’t have those slight tan differences, it makes you wonder if they are spreading their globes during fake and bake for that all over tan.

So if you’re looking for that overall ready-for-porn tan, we’ll be seeing you spread eagle at Haulover Park in Miami Beach. 

But apparently letting light into the cavern of your crack is not just for the movie stars looking to be perfect for that shot.  It’s also for those that are looking to increase our wellness?

Johnny Knoxville of stupid movies fame (are we waiting for his porn?), recently upped the circulation of Instagramer Ra of Earth‘s account.  The one video Knoxville shared states that just 30 seconds of anal tanning can provide a major boost in your energy.  I’m from the north originally and I know the SAD lamps used for seasonal affective disorder to recharge your batteries in the winter time, a lamp usually used n the head end of the body and not the ass end, but apparently 30 clickity clacks of the clock while light is shining in your clickity crack will give you more energy than an entire day in the sun. 

 The video is great and the guys seem to have the helium heels position down with no help needed. But really?  Toasting the tunnel will give you a boost that’s probably better than any protein or caffeine shot?

For those that are not as flexible or don’t know how to ass-ume the position above, there’s always the reverse worship pose explained below.  

So hemorrhoids are the disease of the lazy. 

And is it about sunlight or just getting some heat in that dark hole and space?  Can the same be done with a blow dryer at a safe distance?  Or do we need to head up to the rooftop deck and Vee it out or grab our heels in order to get this boost?

In no way do we condone this exercise, sun worship, whole hole exposure in public, and we also don’t know about the other ra_of_earth recommendations as seen in another one of his tweets. 

So yeah, it may be all good, all bad, and all in left field, but ra_of_earth does have one supporter, as cocktailsandcocktalk points out.

Instagram’s certifiedhealthnut Troy Casey also believes in brightening up your day and crack by making it where the sun does shine.  

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Butthole sunning! – – According to @ra_of_earth via @johnnyknoxville story…30 seconds of direct sunlight injection to The anal orifice is equivalent to being outside in the sun ALL DAY! – – SUN= NUTRITION as long as you have the proper antioxidants and fats. If your body is loaded with PUFA’s, sunlight can be very damaging to the tissues! – – Therefore CLEAN UP YOUR DIET, everybody will do WAY better on my Organic Superfood nutritional program, it feeds the cells and satiate the tissues with materials that replicate your eyeballs, spinal cord nose hairs and epidermis … All the vitamins, minerals, enzymes, proteins, fats, carbohydrates in a bio available predigested micro nutrition presentation. 💯 satisfaction guaranteed! LINK IN BIO

A post shared by Troy Casey (@certifiedhealthnut) on

 

So, if you’re looking for a new activity to do while bored or low on energy, throw your heels to the sky and tan that sun-absorbant portal.  But none of them recommended any lotions, lubes, or other tanning accessories.  We’re thinking if you are sunning a place where the sun don’t shine, be careful!


Sun Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky from Pexels

Surprised Photo by TOPHEE MARQUEZ from Pexels

Source:  cocktailsandcocktalk

 

 

What do you think?