Let’s be real: in the glittering, autotuned world of pop stardom, we don’t often get a backstage pass to the quiet car rides, the family dinner tables, or the tearful “coming out” conversations that shape our idols. But Connie Hoying—mother of Pentatonix co-founder and Grammy-winner Scott Hoying—isn’t interested in preserving the myth of effortless fame. Her new book, “The Untold Story of Scott Hoying, Pentatonix Star”, offers a raw, nostalgic, and refreshingly candid look at the life of her son—from a piano-playing Texas kid to a queer icon in the making.
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“I wrote this book about the early childhood and career of my son, Scott Hoying, Grammy award-winning co-founder of Pentatonix,” she says with maternal precision. “I talk about his life from childhood in Texas, coming out, his rise to fame with Pentatonix, and his married life. I share insights into his early successes and failures and how I tried to nurture a creative environment for my children.” That’s Texas hospitality meets Oprah-level insight.
But Connie isn’t just reliving glory days. She’s telling a story about what it really means to love your child—completely, imperfectly, and fiercely.
“I also talk about my journey to becoming an ally,” she adds, and there it is: the quiet heartbeat of the book.
The Road to “Mom, I’m Gay”
One of the most gripping passages recounts the moment Scott came out at 17 during a drive home from a piano lesson. There were no fireworks—just tears, vulnerability, and a Texas road stretching ahead like an uncertain future.
“Scott paused for a moment, collected himself, and then he said to me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’”
Connie’s reaction was full of unconditional love but not without hesitation. She asked him to wait until college before coming out publicly, not out of shame but out of fear—a gut-level, mama-bear anxiety about the cruelty the world might serve to her baby.
Her honesty about this moment is disarming.
“Looking back, I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do… I had so many fears on so many levels.”
This is what makes the book feel less like a PR puff piece and more like a confessional journal shared over a strong cup of coffee. Connie doesn’t edit herself into the perfect ally. She shows us the messy learning curve, and for queer readers especially, that’s often the story we never get to hear.
The Counseling Session That Changed Everything
One of the most unsettling (and powerful) chapters details Connie and Scott’s single, ill-fated visit to a counselor who promoted “changing” one’s sexuality—a moment that now feels almost surreal.
“The counselor also told Scott he would never be successful in music if he lived a gay lifestyle.”
But Scott—young, hurt, and gloriously unbothered—clapped back:
“He believed that God wouldn’t give him purpose and talents and then damn him for being gay.”
Goosebumps, anyone?
The fallout from that appointment left Scott devastated and Connie reeling in regret. It became a defining moment—not just for her son, but for her own evolution. Today, she’s unequivocal:
“I truly believe conversion therapy is horrific and should not exist.”
Beyond the Spotlight: A Mother-Son Bond That Keeps Growing
While fame often drives wedges between people, Connie insists that it hasn’t changed her relationship with her son.
“Scott’s true passion lies in creating, not fame. I feel this is why he — and our relationship— hasn’t changed.”
Instead, writing this book deepened their connection.
“It allowed them to relive significant moments of their lives, and we experienced that journey as a family.”
It’s also given Connie her own unexpected spotlight. She’s now an author in the digital age—complete with a QR code in her book that links to “Pray,” a song Scott wrote about the moment he came out.
Let that sink in: a mom wrote a book about her gay son and dropped an interactive music-video chapter. Welcome to 2025.
The Message That Sticks
Connie isn’t trying to become a gay icon—but whether she likes it or not, she’s giving allyship the kind of makeover that matters.
“I hope readers of my book come away understanding that love, support, acceptance, and positivity can be truly life-changing. You don’t need to be a perfect parent, but you must keep showing up.”
She showed up at piano lessons. She showed up in the car that day. She showed up, heartbreakingly, at a therapy session she later regretted. And today? She’s showing up with a book that might help other parents get it right a little sooner.
Scott Hoying may have sung his way into our ears, but thanks to Connie, we now get to hear the story of the quiet strength behind the spotlight.
So to all the queer kids reading this: know that thriving authentically is possible. And to the parents who might be scared or unsure, take a cue from Connie:
Show up. Ask questions. Keep learning. And above all, love loudly.
My Instinct colleague Denny Patterson recently sat down with Scott and Connie to talk more about the book, their special bond, and more. Check out the full video interview below.
Scott and Connie Hoying…
Source: Digital Journal
This book is so amazing. It shows how to parent with love. The light that Scott has, I know is due in a large part to the love from his mom and family A must read for anyone!!