Let’s be honest: most of us know Jonathan Groff as the sweet-faced heartthrob who could sing your house down and still be home in time for tea. Whether he was melting hearts on Glee, making you cry in Looking, or collecting Tonys like Pokémon cards (Merrily We Roll Along, anyone?), Groff has long been beloved by the gays—not just for his talent, but for his sincerity.
But in a recent episode of the Table Manners podcast with Jessie and Lennie Ware, Groff gave us something deeper than stage presence or vocal range. He gave us a story. One that’s achingly familiar to many queer folks: the long, winding road to self-acceptance.
“I had no sex during high school, I was sort of asexual. I didn’t have girlfriends, but I was just really into theatre and very focused on my craft of acting. And then I moved to New York, and I had my first boyfriend, who was my roommate, and we were together for three and a half years, in the closet the whole time.”
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If you just whispered “same,” you’re not alone. Groff’s early years sound less like a Hollywood coming-of-age and more like every baby gay theatre kid trying to figure out if they liked Rent because of the music or the men.
It wasn’t until he finished his role as Melchior in Spring Awakening—the show that catapulted him into stardom—that he took the first real step toward living openly. That moment, he says, was transformative:
“I started living my life.”
But even then, the journey was far from over. Groff recalled the shame that still lingered, even after coming out to his family and friends:
“When I was 23, I was like, ‘I’m gonna come out, but I still feel a lot of shame, and I still wish that I wasn’t gay.’ It wasn’t until I was in my late twenties that I really started to love that part of myself.”
Can we just pause here and appreciate the raw honesty of that? So many coming out stories are wrapped up with a neat little bow. Groff reminds us that acceptance doesn’t always arrive on cue—it creeps in, sometimes slowly, sometimes painfully, until it finally sticks.
A major turning point came thanks to his then-partner, fellow Broadway star Gavin Creel, who helped Groff take pride in his sexuality. The two dated from 2009 to 2010—just long enough for Creel to help open the door Groff had been afraid to walk through.
“I was so in love with him,” Groff said. “I was out to my friends and family, but the occasion to come out publicly had not happened yet. It then presented itself in Washington DC at that moment in an interview.”
It was a march for gay marriage that Creel was leading. Groff, standing beside him, decided that love mattered more than fear.
“I remember feeling like the love that I feel for him is so much deeper than any job I could ever wish to have, and making the choice to choose love over whatever idea of what I would want my career to be, I’m going to come out of the closet.”
Imagine risking your entire career—at a time when being openly gay could still mean losing roles—just to stand beside the person you love. That’s not just brave. That’s revolutionary.
“It did feel like in 2008 or 2009, that that was the case at that time, that you were making a choice to either be in the closet and have more opportunities in your career, or come out and have less opportunities.”
It’s a reality so many queer performers faced, and still quietly reckon with. Groff’s willingness to say it aloud is a kind of quiet rebellion. He didn’t just come out. He came forward.
Tragically, Gavin Creel passed away in September 2024 at the age of 48, following a battle with sarcoma. It’s a heartbreaking coda to a love that helped shape Groff’s life.
“It was such an unbelievable loss,” Groff said in a later interview with The Broadway Show.
But what remains is not just the grief—it’s the gratitude. For love that was real, for growth that took time, and for a story that shows younger queer people that shame doesn’t have the final word.
Groff’s path isn’t just about coming out. It’s about coming home—to yourself, to your truth, and yes, even to your own queerness. And in a world where visibility still matters, that’s something worth applauding louder than any standing ovation.
Source: TheIndependent
Sigh.
Y’all write about Goff when a podcast comes out but didn’t bother to shill his last movie, A Nice Indian Boy, which is still (barely) in a few theaters, since last October when Instinct published about it last, according to y’all’s own tags.
Goff shows up on The Late Show and doesn’t even shill the movie, just his current play.
And people wonder why there isn’t more gay content in movie theaters, when people won’t support was is out there, not even gay publications.
Since y’all are too busy supporting thrist trapping queer baiting.
https://instinctmagazine.com/a-nice-indian-boy-bollywood-gay-romance/
https://instinctmagazine.com/a-nice-indian-boy-groff-and-soni-lead-cross-cultural-romance/
One was last October and one was March 8
Thanks
Funny how a simple search can answer questions like that LOL…