There are a few constants in life: death, taxes, and HBO’s The White Lotus turning opulent vacations into slow-burn psychological chaos. Enter Saxon Ratliff—played by Patrick Schwarzenegger, yes that Schwarzenegger—whose appearance in Season 3 included wealth, arrogance, abs, and a storyline so taboo it made even the gays clutch their pearls.
Spoiler alert: Saxon’s younger brother Lochlan (played by Sam Nivola) gave him a handjob. Mid-threesome. With a girl. Who was watching. We were all watching.
Naturally, a porn parody was inevitable.
“I said, ‘What is that?’” Patrick told W Magazine, recounting a gym run-in. “And he was like, ‘It’s Tight Lotus—it’s a new porno coming out!’ And I said, ‘Excuse me?!’ And he goes, ‘Yeah—he’s playing you.’ He’s depicting you. I was like, ‘Oh my god!’”
Welcome to fame, Patrick. You’ve officially entered the “someone is pretending to be you in gay porn” chapter of your career. It’s a rite of passage in the queer pop culture canon—just ask anyone who’s been on Riverdale.
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Produced by Men.com (aka the Criterion Collection of homoerotic absurdity), The Tight Lotus stars adult film veterans Seth Peterson and Ryan Orion. A cheeky promo on Instagram proclaimed, “Tanya McQuoid would be so proud of how these guys are spending their time at The Tight Lotus.” Rest in paradise, Tanya. You would have eaten this up.
A synopsis on IMDb lays out the plot—or, well, the excuse for nudity: “Two young, fit party guys, abandoned by two party girls, carry on with each other in a room bathed in sensuous red light.” If that doesn’t scream prestige, what does?
But back to the real Saxon. When Schwarzenegger landed the role, he clocked the energy immediately. “I was a little nervous to take on another douche role and have to live up to their hype,” he said, referencing Season 1’s Jake Lacy and Season 2’s Theo James. For the record, he absolutely did. Saxon was all sculpted smugness, spiritual bypassing, and overpriced yoga mats. And yet… kind of hot?
He auditioned five times. The final test? “The scene where the two girls are telling me that I had a threesome with my brother, and I’m just melting in my lounge chair. That was a fun one to do.” What’s even more chaotic is that he rehearsed it with his real-life brother. “He said the line ‘I didn’t force your brother to jerk you off.’ Christopher said, ‘What happens in this?!’ I was like, ‘Dude, just read it.’”
This is beyond method acting. This is family trauma for Emmy consideration.
Schwarzenegger managed to turn Saxon—who could’ve been just another Abercrombie-coded finance bro—into something almost sympathetic by the finale. And audiences, especially queer ones, noticed. There’s something about Patrick’s wide-eyed sincerity that makes you forgive him, even when he’s fake-meditating in Bali with a protein shake in hand while committing accidental incest.
And the gays? We have a sixth sense for spotting tension and turning it into Tumblr gifs. Saxon and Lochlan’s bond felt like HBO whispering, “What if Call Me By Your Name, but like… slightly worse?”
Luckily, Patrick’s in on the madness. He’s self-aware, grounded, and as obsessed with coffee as a Brooklyn lesbian with a Chemex. He laughs off the porn parody. He jokes about outsmarting the White Lotus room service charges. “I was probably the least profitable customer for the Four Seasons,” he says. “I don’t think they’ll ever have me back.”
But don’t let the “Arnold’s kid” thing fool you—Patrick’s no legacy puppet. He studied business at USC (thanks to dad’s advice about actors who didn’t understand finances), starred in Gen V and The Staircase, and continues to sharpen his craft with weekly theater classes. He’s no slouch. He’s just got better abs than most of us.
Oh, and the man loves Paul Walker and Jessica Alba. Just in case your middle school crushes needed validation.
As for whether he thinks Michael Peterson actually did it in The Staircase?
“Yeah, come on. I mean, you have two [women] who end up dead at the bottom of the stairs. It’s crazy.” Finally, some sense.
Between awards buzz and unexpected gay-icon status, Schwarzenegger is living proof that Hollywood still has room for actors who can navigate viral incest scenes, gay porn doppelgängers, and family-friendly charisma—all while drinking coffee strong enough to kill a goat.
Patrick, we salute you. Or maybe just wink at you across the Equinox.
Source: W Magazine